The divorce process can bring up all kinds of powerful and unexpected emotions. No matter how well prepared you feel, divorce is probably going to take you by surprise. What are some of the emotions you’ll most likely feel during a divorce?
Anger is perhaps the most common and most overwhelming emotional reaction. Your husband has probably done things that were painful for you, and sometimes it’s hard not to obsess about the things that have happened. It’s difficult to believe, but your anger is making you more miserable than it is your husband. The best thing you can do for yourself is to try to find an outlet of release – exercise, even if it’s just a nightly stroll, is a great place to start.
It may surprise you that you feel terribly guilty. Even if you’re divorcing because of an affair your husband had, you may be devoured by guilt. It’s not uncommon to feel that you didn’t work hard enough on your marriage. You may be wonder if the divorce is your fault, especially if you have children. This is another normal emotional reaction you can expect to feel. You need to accept that you did the best you could, which is part of learning to let go of the past.
Fear is another common reaction to divorce. Fear has some justification. Divorced women often lose income, and may deal with the need to go back to work or change jobs. This can be overwhelming, especially with all of the other changes going on in your life. There are lots of resources, however, to make this transition much easier, and even exciting. Don’t let fear keep you from doing what you really want to do. Divorce isn’t just a setback; it represents an opportunity, too.
You may be grief stricken by the collapse of your marriage, and this is a healthy response. It’s only normal to grieve the death of a relationship. If the dissolution of the marriage involves a betrayal by your spouse, you’re probably particularly likely to be grieving the loss of the image you had of your marriage. Grieving helps you let go and move on to a brighter future.
Divorce is a difficult process, but it’s an opportunity for an exciting transition as well. If you’d like to learn more, please get in touch with us today!